Sunday, January 01, 2006

foist the deadly umbrella on an unwilling people

From: "Chris Graves"

From the Austin, Nevada REVEILLE, 1878:

The extraordinary weather of this morning is dangerous to our institutions.  It threatens to introduce the umbrella in our midst. The last man who ventured on our streets with an umbrella was promptly shot, but his corpse was not mutilated, like that of his predecessor.  Since the completion of the Central Pacific Railroad the manners and customs of an effete Eastern civilization have one by one encroached upon our isolation, driving the old pioneers further and further back into the fastness of the mountains; and now that showers in March threaten to foist the deadly umbrella on an unwilling people, men look into each other's faces and ask: "What IS this consarned country coming to, anyway?"


"I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: 'no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.' —Eleanor Roosevelt

"I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it." —W C Fields