Friday, March 20, 2009

More wonderful (or outrageous) quotations, anecdotes, and aphorisms





"Wait a minute, wait a minute, you ain't heard nothing yet. Wait a minute, I tell you, you ain't heard nothing." —Al Jolson, uttering the first words of the first talking motion picture, 'The Jazz Singer', Times Square, New York City premiere, 1927

Video: "The Great Train Robbery." —Silent Motion Picture, 12 minutes, Thomas A. Edison, 1903, Library of Congress

"When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people." —Abraham Joshua Heschel

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." —Mark Twain

"Real knowledge comes only from experience." —MikeG62

"Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away and you've got their shoes." —Colin Corneau

"It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one." —Anon.

"I miss the days when I used to be nostalgic." —Michael Benveniste

"Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything." —Charles Kuralt

"If it's not fun, you're not doing it right." —Bob Basso

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." —Walt Disney

"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun." —Katharine Hepburn

"Dance as though no one is watching you; love as though you have never been hurt before, sing as though no one can hear you, live as though heaven is on earth." —Alfred Souza

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." —Albert Einstein

"Many years ago and far away, an employer wanted to compare VAX vs IBM run times. They developed some code to do a bunch of math and then printed out how long it took. IBM took 30 seconds; VAX took 0.001 seconds. They were astounded. Turns out, the compiler figured out that if you aren't going to use the result, it would optimize away the calculation." TomatoTomahto

"Middle age is when you can finally afford the things that a young man could truly enjoy." —Dave Kadolph

"If you had all the money you spent on cameras, you'd spend it on cameras." Jnny

"In terms of addiction, there is nothing more powerful than men's toys." —Sammy Davis Jr.
[No sexism intended: It's wrong to rewrite quotations of what others said or wrote (and possibly anachronistic), but please mentally substitute "person/people" or the like, whenever you read "man/men" meaning human/humans.]

It Might Not Even Matter How Much Something Costs: "The most expensive asset we own is one we don't use." —Albert Erickson

"There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.' :'!':" —Greg Lamont

"Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once and a while, you might just miss it." Ferris Bueller

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." —Abraham Lincoln

"You can observe a lot by just watching." —Yogi Berra

"I never said half the things I said." —Yogi Berra

"A dyslexic man walks into a bra." from an acquaintance in Los Angeles

"A dyslexic who is extremely nervous should eat calm chowder." —Anonymous

"The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man who has no secrets to keep." —Edgar Watson Howe

"Being all equal and independent, no one ought to harm another in his life, health, liberty, or possessions." John Locke

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." —Preamble to the Declaration of Independence [Attributed to Thomas Jefferson or Thomas Paine]

"The society that puts equality before freedom will end up with neither. The society that puts freedom before equality will end up with a great measure of both." Milton Friedman

"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." George Orwell

"'The time has come,' the walrus said, 'to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings' " Lewis Carroll – The Walrus and The Carpenter in "Through the Looking-Glass"

"Photography is my one recreation and I think it should be done well." —Lewis Carroll

"Pictures are not incidental frills to a text; they are essences of our distinctive way of knowing." —Stephen J. Gould

The Leica Look: "A statistically unusually high number of the most famous images of the 20th century were taken with Leica M cameras." Irakly Shanidze

"Having more than one lens assures you that you'll always have the wrong lens on the camera!!" —Ted Orland

"I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member." —Groucho Marx

"Everything I write is a personal opinion. Even when I quote facts, they are the facts I personally choose to accept." —Mario Giannini

"I took the road less traveled and that has made all the difference." —Robert Frost

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." —Brian Littrell

"For fast acting relief, try slowing down." —Lily Tomlin

"A new study suggests that consuming chocolate may increase your chances of grabbing the prestigious [Nobel] prize." Cum hoc ergo propter hoc

Pterodactyl
Pterodactyl

Archaeopteryx
Archaeopteryx

"Dinosaurs didn't die out, they just flew away." —Donna L. Cooper

"We have no paupers ... The great mass of our [United States] population is of laborers; our rich, who can live without labor, either manual or professional, being few, and of moderate wealth. Most of the laboring class possess property, cultivate their own lands, have families, and from the demand for their labor are enabled to exact from the rich and the competent such prices as enable them to be fed abundantly, clothed above mere decency, to labor moderately and raise their families. ... Can any condition of society be more desirable than this?" —Thomas Jefferson, 1814

"The world now contains more photographs than bricks." —John Szarkowski, Curator of Photography, Museum of Modern Art, 1976

"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time." —Leo Tolstoy

"If I have seen further, it is by standing on ye shoulders of giants." —Sir Isaac Newton in a letter to Robert Hooke 15 February 1676

"I saw a lot of white men almost fight today. I do not think this is good." Hin-mah-too-yah-la-kekt (Thunder Rolling Down the Mountains), also known as Chief Joseph, of the Nez Perce Indian tribe, after impassively watching a football game between the Universities of Washington and Nebraska in Seattle in 1903

"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away." Robert Maynard Hutchins, who pulled the University of Chicago out of the Big Ten Conference and eliminated the school’s football program

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." S.G. Tallentyre, The Friends of Voltaire

"When you're in a hole, stop digging." —Denis Healey

"A projected 857 percent [sic] reduction in energy used for U.S. residential lighting by 2040." National Geographic innumerate environmental department of the impossible

"The hell with the past — I'd like to put the future behind us." New Yorker cartoon

"If you want a better lens, get a tripod." My mentor in college

"I think it is really a variable-weight tripod: the farther you carry it, the heavier it gets." —Stephen S. Mack

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." —Winston Churchill

"There is nothing that does so much harm as good intentions." —Milton Friedman

"Be kind, because everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." Gloria Vanderbilt